The Best in Political, Entertainment, & Sports News

Dr. Phil Show to Feature Dr. Phil Staffers who Have Been Emotionally Abused by Dr. Phil Hollywood - Throughout his run as host of the wildly successful talk show that bears his name, Dr. Phil McGraw has been criticized for abusive behavior toward his staff. The problem has become so prevalent that Dr. Phil will soon devote an entire show to counseling those he has emotionally broken down but refuses to build up, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "Since I'm the most abusive boss I know, I felt it imperative to include myself in a show about domineering supervisors," Dr. Phil said. "I thank Dr. Phil very much for allowing me to talk about the pain Dr. Phil has caused me," Dr. Phil associate producer Denise Cherry said. "I hope Dr. Phil will have some constructive ways on how to better deal with Dr. Phil in the future." The upcoming episode has already provided a spark or two in and around the studio. "It's very difficult being yelled at by such a mean-spirited man, but what's even worse is then seeing him go on television to charm the pants off Americans who have never encountered him in person," Nicole Ryan, Dr. Phil's makeup technician, told a Dr. Phil producer as she applied makeup to Dr. Phil for an afternoon taping of the Dr. Phil show. Full Story>>> Leno Staff Laughs Heartily at Prospect of David Schwimmer Appearance Burbank - Staff of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno received a much needed laugh today after a rookie producer suggested former Friends actor David Schwimmer join Jay on the couch as a guest on the long running NBC late night talker, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "He was great as Ross in a rerun I saw the other day... What's so funny?" the producer innocently asked in response to the laughter. "Well," a senior producer shot back. "First you need to ask yourself if the potential guest is promoting a major motion picture or television project. Secondly you need to ask yourself if anyone has seen or heard from the proposed guest in five years." As the conversation continued, the good-natured ribbing became more intense. "No one has the desire to ask David Schwimmer what it's like to work with Matt LeBlanc because no one will have to work with Matt LeBlanc until he joins the PTA," another producer quipped. Despite it being obvious the rookie staffer would only make matters worse by continuing to plead his case, the young man stated hesitantly, "I think Schwimmer directs now. And I'm pretty sure he was the voice of a cartoon animal a couple years back." Unfortunately for the neophyte, both of his David Schwimmer career updates garnered even more laughter. "Yes, because cartoon viewers are our target audience," one executive producer joked. "After all, I'm sure five-year-olds with deadbeat parents who let them stay awake until one in the morning are keen on shelling out twenty-bucks so their precious little tykes can see what's new in CGI." Oscar Broadcast Increases Number of People Who Might, Possibly, One Day, Catch an Episode of 30 Rock Indianapolis - Inspired by the appearances of Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey on the 82nd annual Academy Awards telecast, many American television fans made tentative plans that may eventually have them on the couch watching an episode of the NBC situation comedy, 30 Rock ; the program on which Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Fey regularly star, Underneath Hollywood has learned. Jan and Gary Birdsong of Indiana are two such people. Ms. Birdsong recently told her husband of 15-years the circumstances required if such a viewing is to take place. "Maybe if my work schedule calms down and you get that extra week's vacation you requested then we can start thinking about setting up a time to check the internet to learn when and on what channel the show appears. If we're successful, then maybe we can figure out which one of us will set the DVR to record it with the proper settings. If that person remembers to select the option where the program is not automatically deleted in a certain number of days, and, if we're ever sitting on the couch one night after the kids are asleep, going through some of the shows we've recorded but never had time to watch and are in the mood for a program that some people think is funny and we've never seen before, and we only feel like staying awake for approximately 22 minutes, plus the time needed to fast-forward through all the commercials, then we can give it a chance," she said. Jon Bon Jovi Admonished by Sexual Surrogate for Singing Wanted Dead or Alive at Worst Possible Time Rumson, NJ - During a recent session with his sexual surrogate, legendary singer Jon Bon Jovi tried to spice things up by singing a few bars of his popular song, Wanted Dead or Alive ; an act his surrogate instructed him never to do again, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "One of my jobs as a sexual surrogate is to inform the client when he or she behaves in a manner that would undoubtedly turn off a lover," said the surrogate. Mr. Bon Jovi always assumed both groupies and legitimate love interests enjoyed hearing popular Bon Jovi tunes as they engaged in physically stimulating activities. "Back in Bon Jovi's heyday I would serenade every woman with whom I made love," he said. "At the time those private concerts were met with positive reviews. Only now, through the power of sexual surrogacy, am I learning that the ladies with whom I was involved were most likely masking the awkwardness of an uncomfortable situation by lying. That was a big wake up call." Jay Leno to Radically Change "Tonight" by Shaving 30-Seconds from Monologue Burbank - Expect the unexpected when tuning into a revamped Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno when the funnyman returns to host the long-running NBC laugher at the conclusion of the 2010 Winter Olympics, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "It definitely won't be the Tonight Show you've grown accustomed to," said NBC President Jeff Zucker. Among the reported changes are: a slightly shortened monologue, less reliance on typo-based "Headlines," more "Jaywalking" segments originating from the Inland Empire, fewer questions to celebrity guests regarding embarrassing jobs they had while desperately seeking their big break, and a greater emphasis on clip-setup accuracy. "If Jay is willing to drive all the way to Riverside to talk to ordinary people in hopes they aren't aware of the fact that a pound of feathers weighs exactly as much as a pound of gold, you know he is more dedicated than ever to putting on a quality television program. If he doesn't immediately take back the number one spot, it won't be long before Jay returns to his throne as king of late night," Mr. Zucker insisted. Recently Discovered Original Copies of Romeo & Juliet Include Playwright Commentary, Alternate Endings and Deleted Scenes Stratford-upon-Avon, UK - A recent discovery, which has the literary community buzzing, includes original copies of William Shakespeare's most heralded play, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "We are astounded," said literary historian Franklin Peterson. "We were fairly certain all original copies of Romeo & Juliet had been discovered, so we are as shocked as we are thrilled." Making the recent discovery even more bizarre is the fact that the writings include additions such as playwright commentary, alternative endings and deleted scenes. Mr. Peterson says one ending has the main characters opening a theater where they produce a play about their courtship after narrowly escaping death. Experts were also stunned Mr. Shakespeare used relatively plain language in his playwright commentary; commentary he eventually intended to market along with the deleted scenes and alternative endings. Such phrases as: "I had originally intended to call Mercutio, 'Mercurio' but the typesetter couldn't read my chicken scratch and I didn't feel like waiting two years for them to correct the misprint," and, "I wrote this act at two in the morning instead of emptying my waste-bucket; a chore which had occupied my to-do list for over a fortnight," are scattered throughout one copy. The limited edition original Shakespearean works with bonus material are scheduled to be auctioned off this spring at participating Barnes & Nobles Bookseller's. Mocumentary About Documentary About Mocumentary Confusing Fans Hollywood - While filming his previous mocumentary, A Mighty Wind star/director Christopher Guest assumed most ardent fans of the genre would be thrilled to see a documentary about the making of a mocumentary. The Making Of is the mocumentary Mr. Guest produced as a result of that thought. The concept, however, has been confusing moviegoers who usually enjoy the work of Mr. Guest and his cohorts. "I'm not sure what I was watching," said John Balboa after attending a sneak preview. "I couldn't tell which crew was supposed to be serious and which one was supposed to be funny. I think they were both supposed to be funny; one unintentionally and one intentionally, but it was hard to know for certain." Mr. Guest attempted to assure fans that The Making Of will not confuse them if they pay close attention. "It's very simple," he insisted. "A documentary film crew shows up to film a documentary about a prolific mocumentary film director who is in the process of shooting his latest mocumentary." Full Story>>> Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown Share Awkward Moment at Crack House Hollywood, CA - The normal desperation in a Hollywood crack house was intensified Wednesday when former superstar couple Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown each arrived to smoke some crack, neither realizing the other would be on the premises, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "Hi," a visibly nervous Whitney Houston said to her former husband. "Hi. How have you been?" Mr. Brown asked while staring at the ceiling and jingling loose change in his pocket. "Good, and you?" the I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) singer responded while fondly gazing at a crack whore convulse on the floor, doing anything to avoid eye contact with the former New Edition member. "Fine. Just wanted to smoke a little crack," the My Prerogative singer replied before laughing uncomfortably. "Yeah, me too," the Greatest Love of All singer said with a fake smile. After a few moments of awkward silence during which Mr. Brown said "so..." four times without having anything to follow it up, Ms. Houston pulled out the crack cocaine she had recently acquired, hoping to indicate her desire to go their separate ways so she could smoke in peace. "I guess I better..." the Exhale (Shoop Shoop) singer began once it became apparent the Every Little Step singer didn't get the hint. "Oh, right, I guess you want to go smoke that so you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms," the Rock Wit'cha singer said facetiously. After gritting her teeth in frustration, the Saving All My Love for You singer put up her right hand and headed to the room generating the least pungent aroma. Brady Bunch DVD Extras Include Footage of Robert Reed Gaying Up the Set Harvard Study Finds Reese Witherspoon Could Not Possibly Be Any Cuter Global Warming Advocates/Rap Group Beastie Boys Struggle to Find Word that Rhymes with Anthropogenic CONTACT

Dr. Phil Show to Feature Dr. Phil Staffers who Have Been Emotionally Abused by Dr. Phil

Hollywood - Throughout his run as host of the wildly successful talk show that bears his name, Dr. Phil McGraw has been criticized for abusive behavior toward his staff. The problem has become so prevalent that Dr. Phil will soon devote an entire show to counseling those he has emotionally broken down but refuses to build up, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "Since I'm the most abusive boss I know, I felt it imperative to include myself in a show about domineering supervisors," Dr. Phil said. "I thank Dr. Phil very much for allowing me to talk about the pain Dr. Phil has caused me," Dr. Phil associate producer Denise Cherry said. "I hope Dr. Phil will have some constructive ways on how to better deal with Dr. Phil in the future." The upcoming episode has already provided a spark or two in and around the studio. "It's very difficult being yelled at by such a mean-spirited man, but what's even worse is then seeing him go on television to charm the pants off Americans who have never encountered him in person," Nicole Ryan, Dr. Phil's makeup technician, told a Dr. Phil producer as she applied makeup to Dr. Phil for an afternoon taping of the Dr. Phil show. Full Story>>>

Leno Staff Laughs Heartily at Prospect of David Schwimmer Appearance

Burbank - Staff of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno received a much needed laugh today after a rookie producer suggested former Friends actor David Schwimmer join Jay on the couch as a guest on the long running NBC late night talker, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "He was great as Ross in a rerun I saw the other day... What's so funny?" the producer innocently asked in response to the laughter. "Well," a senior producer shot back. "First you need to ask yourself if the potential guest is promoting a major motion picture or television project. Secondly you need to ask yourself if anyone has seen or heard from the proposed guest in five years." As the conversation continued, the good-natured ribbing became more intense. "No one has the desire to ask David Schwimmer what it's like to work with Matt LeBlanc because no one will have to work with Matt LeBlanc until he joins the PTA," another producer quipped. Despite it being obvious the rookie staffer would only make matters worse by continuing to plead his case, the young man stated hesitantly, "I think Schwimmer directs now. And I'm pretty sure he was the voice of a cartoon animal a couple years back." Unfortunately for the neophyte, both of his David Schwimmer career updates garnered even more laughter. "Yes, because cartoon viewers are our target audience," one executive producer joked. "After all, I'm sure five-year-olds with deadbeat parents who let them stay awake until one in the morning are keen on shelling out twenty-bucks so their precious little tykes can see what's new in CGI."

Oscar Broadcast Increases Number of People Who Might, Possibly, One Day, Catch an Episode of 30 Rock

Indianapolis - Inspired by the appearances of Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey on the 82nd annual Academy Awards telecast, many American television fans made tentative plans that may eventually have them on the couch watching an episode of the NBC situation comedy, 30 Rock ; the program on which Mr. Baldwin and Ms. Fey regularly star, Underneath Hollywood has learned. Jan and Gary Birdsong of Indiana are two such people. Ms. Birdsong recently told her husband of 15-years the circumstances required if such a viewing is to take place. "Maybe if my work schedule calms down and you get that extra week's vacation you requested then we can start thinking about setting up a time to check the internet to learn when and on what channel the show appears. If we're successful, then maybe we can figure out which one of us will set the DVR to record it with the proper settings. If that person remembers to select the option where the program is not automatically deleted in a certain number of days, and, if we're ever sitting on the couch one night after the kids are asleep, going through some of the shows we've recorded but never had time to watch and are in the mood for a program that some people think is funny and we've never seen before, and we only feel like staying awake for approximately 22 minutes, plus the time needed to fast-forward through all the commercials, then we can give it a chance," she said.

Jon Bon Jovi Admonished by Sexual Surrogate for Singing Wanted Dead or Alive at Worst Possible Time

Rumson, NJ - During a recent session with his sexual surrogate, legendary singer Jon Bon Jovi tried to spice things up by singing a few bars of his popular song, Wanted Dead or Alive ; an act his surrogate instructed him never to do again, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "One of my jobs as a sexual surrogate is to inform the client when he or she behaves in a manner that would undoubtedly turn off a lover," said the surrogate. Mr. Bon Jovi always assumed both groupies and legitimate love interests enjoyed hearing popular Bon Jovi tunes as they engaged in physically stimulating activities. "Back in Bon Jovi's heyday I would serenade every woman with whom I made love," he said. "At the time those private concerts were met with positive reviews. Only now, through the power of sexual surrogacy, am I learning that the ladies with whom I was involved were most likely masking the awkwardness of an uncomfortable situation by lying. That was a big wake up call."

Jay Leno to Radically Change "Tonight" by Shaving 30-Seconds from Monologue

Burbank - Expect the unexpected when tuning into a revamped Tonight Show Starring Jay Leno when the funnyman returns to host the long-running NBC laugher at the conclusion of the 2010 Winter Olympics, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "It definitely won't be the Tonight Show you've grown accustomed to," said NBC President Jeff Zucker. Among the reported changes are: a slightly shortened monologue, less reliance on typo-based "Headlines," more "Jaywalking" segments originating from the Inland Empire, fewer questions to celebrity guests regarding embarrassing jobs they had while desperately seeking their big break, and a greater emphasis on clip-setup accuracy. "If Jay is willing to drive all the way to Riverside to talk to ordinary people in hopes they aren't aware of the fact that a pound of feathers weighs exactly as much as a pound of gold, you know he is more dedicated than ever to putting on a quality television program. If he doesn't immediately take back the number one spot, it won't be long before Jay returns to his throne as king of late night," Mr. Zucker insisted.

Recently Discovered Original Copies of Romeo & Juliet Include Playwright Commentary, Alternate Endings and Deleted Scenes

Stratford-upon-Avon, UK - A recent discovery, which has the literary community buzzing, includes original copies of William Shakespeare's most heralded play, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "We are astounded," said literary historian Franklin Peterson. "We were fairly certain all original copies of Romeo & Juliet had been discovered, so we are as shocked as we are thrilled." Making the recent discovery even more bizarre is the fact that the writings include additions such as playwright commentary, alternative endings and deleted scenes. Mr. Peterson says one ending has the main characters opening a theater where they produce a play about their courtship after narrowly escaping death. Experts were also stunned Mr. Shakespeare used relatively plain language in his playwright commentary; commentary he eventually intended to market along with the deleted scenes and alternative endings. Such phrases as: "I had originally intended to call Mercutio, 'Mercurio' but the typesetter couldn't read my chicken scratch and I didn't feel like waiting two years for them to correct the misprint," and, "I wrote this act at two in the morning instead of emptying my waste-bucket; a chore which had occupied my to-do list for over a fortnight," are scattered throughout one copy. The limited edition original Shakespearean works with bonus material are scheduled to be auctioned off this spring at participating Barnes & Nobles Bookseller's.

Mocumentary About Documentary About Mocumentary Confusing Fans

Hollywood - While filming his previous mocumentary, A Mighty Wind star/director Christopher Guest assumed most ardent fans of the genre would be thrilled to see a documentary about the making of a mocumentary. The Making Of is the mocumentary Mr. Guest produced as a result of that thought. The concept, however, has been confusing moviegoers who usually enjoy the work of Mr. Guest and his cohorts. "I'm not sure what I was watching," said John Balboa after attending a sneak preview. "I couldn't tell which crew was supposed to be serious and which one was supposed to be funny. I think they were both supposed to be funny; one unintentionally and one intentionally, but it was hard to know for certain." Mr. Guest attempted to assure fans that The Making Of will not confuse them if they pay close attention. "It's very simple," he insisted. "A documentary film crew shows up to film a documentary about a prolific mocumentary film director who is in the process of shooting his latest mocumentary." Full Story>>>

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown Share Awkward Moment at Crack House

Hollywood, CA - The normal desperation in a Hollywood crack house was intensified Wednesday when former superstar couple Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown each arrived to smoke some crack, neither realizing the other would be on the premises, Underneath Hollywood has learned. "Hi," a visibly nervous Whitney Houston said to her former husband. "Hi. How have you been?" Mr. Brown asked while staring at the ceiling and jingling loose change in his pocket. "Good, and you?" the I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me) singer responded while fondly gazing at a crack whore convulse on the floor, doing anything to avoid eye contact with the former New Edition member. "Fine. Just wanted to smoke a little crack," the My Prerogative singer replied before laughing uncomfortably. "Yeah, me too," the Greatest Love of All singer said with a fake smile. After a few moments of awkward silence during which Mr. Brown said "so..." four times without having anything to follow it up, Ms. Houston pulled out the crack cocaine she had recently acquired, hoping to indicate her desire to go their separate ways so she could smoke in peace. "I guess I better..." the Exhale (Shoop Shoop) singer began once it became apparent the Every Little Step singer didn't get the hint. "Oh, right, I guess you want to go smoke that so you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms," the Rock Wit'cha singer said facetiously. After gritting her teeth in frustration, the Saving All My Love for You singer put up her right hand and headed to the room generating the least pungent aroma.

Brady Bunch DVD Extras Include Footage of Robert Reed Gaying Up the Set

Harvard Study Finds Reese Witherspoon Could Not Possibly Be Any Cuter

Global Warming Advocates/Rap Group Beastie Boys Struggle to Find Word that Rhymes with Anthropogenic

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